Category: Issues
Healing The Racial Divide
My base thinks it’s hilarious I’m calling them “thugs” –a word that everyone knows is code for “horny urban negro.”
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An America-Only FOREIGN POLICY
THE PRESIDENT: For too long, America has been the world’s nice, rich uncle, handing out candy,...
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America-Only IMMIGRATION
THE PRESIDENT: On immigration, we’re gonna get rid of immigration; we’re gonna have immiGREATion....
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An America-Only ENERGY Plan
THE PRESIDENT: On energy, I will stop supporting sissy stuff like wind and solar and rainbows and...
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An America-Only JOBS & GROWTH Plan
THE PRESIDENT: To stimulate jobs, we must gut any and all regulations that stand in the way of...
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America-Only LGBTQ Stuff
THE PRESIDENT: OK, I got nothing against the homos. If I did, would I have used Liberace as my...
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America-Only RELIGIOUS FREEDOM
America is all about freedom – to be a Christian. And freedom to shit on losers the Bible tells you to hate because they aren’t Jesus groupies like you!
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HUGE TRADE Deals
THE PRESIDENT: On the Trans-Pacific Partnership, I will do what I do with all “TP” – flush it! And...
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Making Our Military HUGE Again
THE PRESIDENT: Who needs healthcare, education, the arts, or diplomacy, when we can stuff all that...
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DRAINING THE SWAMP
THE PRESIDENT: On ethics reform, as part of my plan to “Drain the Swamp” so we can...
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Standing Up For LAW ENFORCEMENT
THE PRESIDENT: As all my addresses to Joint Sessions of Congress will make abundantly clear:...
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Abortion Rights WRONGS
THE PRESIDENT: I never really cared about abortion – beyond demanding receipts before cutting the reimbursement checks…
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