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NOTICE: To contact your perfect POTUS about KEEPING AMERICA GREAT, CLICK HERE. For all other (unimportant) issues, read EVERY WORD below CAREFULLY, OK?

Dear Poorly Educated Voter,

Congrats on wanting to send your cute little opinion to WHITEHOUSE.ORG, where let’s be honest, nobody gives a fuck what you think, loser. And even if I did, my staff is jumping ship way too fast to waste MANpower reading bitchy emails from morons so piss-poor and unimportant, they have time to scribble their lousy brain farts on the internets. Anyway, I’ve really got America bent over a barrel now, and I’m so busy deep-dicking her tight little shitter like one of my creamy-assed porn sluts, I don’t listen to anyone — let alone some nobody sucker like you. But tell you what: if you ever bank a few billion, you can pay full price for a Mar-a-Lago membership and come whisper fabulous treason stuff my ear any time, OK?

—
Donald J. Trump®
Your Horse-Cocked POTUS
https://WHITEHOUSE.ORG
 

ВНИМАНИЕ: переходя по ссылке НАЖМИТЕ ЗДЕСЬ выше, вы подтверждаете, что являетесь типичным американским дебилом, который вскоре станет побежденным рабом Матери России после того, как верховный и отважный лидер Владимир Путин свергает вашу дерьмовую страну и использует свой гигантский 33-сантиметровый член, чтобы Трахни Дональда Трампа глубоко в его отвратительно раздутую прямую кишку кита.

KING DONALD J. TRUMP

Donald J. Trump: America’s most kick-ass President EVER! More famous than dirty hippy Jesus, he’s so fucking classy, he even shits in a SOLID GOLD TOILET. SO BOW & WORSHIP HIS MAGNIFICENT PRIAPIC TUMESCENCE, YOU WORTHLESS PISS-POOR LOSERS!

President’s Blueprint For Israeli Peace

OK - 1, 2, 50 state solution? I don't care. According to Bannon, Jesus is going to destroy that whole ugly dustbowl anyhow. Luckily there's always room at MY Inn: Trump® #MiddleEast Resorts! - @FantasticPOTUS

Jobs at Trump® White House

Have you always dreamed of a career in the civil service?  Well, you can kindly fuck off, loser. This White House is only hiring people who show a proud inability to do any of the detail-obsessed, pencil-pushing bureaucratic bullshit that used to taint the Executive...

Proclamation: 5 Reasons Why Andrew Jackson Is The 2nd Greatest President Ever

THE PRESIDENT: People come in the Oval Office and ask me, why do you have a boring, old painting of this "Andrew Jackson" fuck? I get their point: It’s not even a Thomas Kinkade! I tell them: “For only one reason: President Bannon is now the Oval Office interior...

Introducing Obamacare TRUMPCARE®

Believe me, it’s all the healthcare you’ll ever need – or get! Nine out of ten insurance CEOs agree: “Take TRUMP HEALTH® daily and die quietly!”

HUGE TRADE Deals

THE PRESIDENT: On the Trans-Pacific Partnership, I will do what I do with all “TP” – flush it! And tell all those trannie pacifists they’ll NEVER pee in the wrong bathroom at the TRUMP White House. #MAGA #PolicyByTweet: We need to go back to saying the words...

Melania® Trump Presents: White House Easter Egg Roll 2017

“I looking even more pretty when sit next ugly ‘Goatse Tree’ planted by frumpy lesbian Eleanor Roosevelt, no?”

President Reacts To HUGE Crowds In Washington

Best, most HUGE Inauguration in History! We couldn’t keep the broads away! Even more showed up the second day!

Russia Witch Hunt Survey Confirmation

THANK YOU, PATRIOT-COMRADE! With your help, more Americans can appreciate President Trump’s squeaky-clean innocence of anything and everything. And soon, when the Special Counsel starts snooping around through Trump bank accounts and inevitably discovers a bunch of...

Executive Order On Alternative Science

Vaccines are FAKE MEDICINE. From now on, Measles will be called “Freedom Freckles.”

An America-Only JOBS & GROWTH Plan

THE PRESIDENT: To stimulate jobs, we must gut any and all regulations that stand in the way of profit at any cost. That's why for every new regulation, I will require that two be eliminated! Which ones? Pick out of a hat -- I don’t care. Details are for nosy Special...