Contact

NOTICE: To contact your perfect POTUS about KEEPING AMERICA GREAT, CLICK HERE. For all other (unimportant) issues, read EVERY WORD below CAREFULLY, OK?

Dear Poorly Educated Voter,

Congrats on wanting to send your cute little opinion to WHITEHOUSE.ORG, where let’s be honest, nobody gives a fuck what you think, loser. And even if I did, my staff is jumping ship way too fast to waste MANpower reading bitchy emails from morons so piss-poor and unimportant, they have time to scribble their lousy brain farts on the internets. Anyway, I’ve really got America bent over a barrel now, and I’m so busy deep-dicking her tight little shitter like one of my creamy-assed porn sluts, I don’t listen to anyone — let alone some nobody sucker like you. But tell you what: if you ever bank a few billion, you can pay full price for a Mar-a-Lago membership and come whisper fabulous treason stuff my ear any time, OK?

—
Donald J. Trump®
Your Horse-Cocked POTUS
https://WHITEHOUSE.ORG
 

ВНИМАНИЕ: переходя по ссылке НАЖМИТЕ ЗДЕСЬ выше, вы подтверждаете, что являетесь типичным американским дебилом, который вскоре станет побежденным рабом Матери России после того, как верховный и отважный лидер Владимир Путин свергает вашу дерьмовую страну и использует свой гигантский 33-сантиметровый член, чтобы Трахни Дональда Трампа глубоко в его отвратительно раздутую прямую кишку кита.

KING DONALD J. TRUMP

Donald J. Trump: America’s most kick-ass President EVER! More famous than dirty hippy Jesus, he’s so fucking classy, he even shits in a SOLID GOLD TOILET. SO BOW & WORSHIP HIS MAGNIFICENT PRIAPIC TUMESCENCE, YOU WORTHLESS PISS-POOR LOSERS!

President’s Paris Accord Withdrawal Statement

POTUS: My job is to make every asthmatic brat on earth gasp & wheeze & wish they’d never been born such pathetic rejects! #ParisAccord

President’s Blueprint For Israeli Peace

OK - 1, 2, 50 state solution? I don't care. According to Bannon, Jesus is going to destroy that whole ugly dustbowl anyhow. Luckily there's always room at MY Inn: Trump® #MiddleEast Resorts! - @FantasticPOTUS

Trumpism At Work: Tackling Complicated Stuff

Trumpism At Work: Tackling Complicated Stuff Americans everywhere are taking POTUS' lead on solving complicated problems! Join them! #TrumpismAtWork #MAGA  Yes, YOU TOO can solve complicated problems like a GENIUS BILLIONAIRE! Work it like @POTUS, America!...

Russia Witch Hunt Survey Confirmation

THANK YOU, PATRIOT-COMRADE! With your help, more Americans can appreciate President Trump’s squeaky-clean innocence of anything and everything. And soon, when the Special Counsel starts snooping around through Trump bank accounts and inevitably discovers a bunch of...

Welcome FAREWELL Life-Long Trump Supporter Tony Scaramucci

POTUS welcomes bids fond farewell to carefully vetted, 1000% LOYAL Tony Scaramucci to WHITEHOUSE.ORG. So great to be have briefly been working with a life-long fan! ??? ###  

Don Jr. & Eric: High-IQ Crotchfruit

L'il Donnie Like First Lady-Daughter Ivanka Trump, this is another child with a taste for pink power ties who is totally NOT trading off his father’s amazingly fabulous and classy name and/or his presidency. Follow L’il Donnie on Instagram, where he flaunts his...

An America-Only ENERGY Plan

THE PRESIDENT: On energy, I will stop supporting sissy stuff like wind and solar and rainbows and all that liberal hippy-dippy spiral-dancer earth-lover bullshit, and go back to a future where huge, dick-like smokestacks belch out thick, beautiful GOLDEN clouds of...

THE TRANSITION: First 100 Days

My transition is going so smooth, SO FREAKING SMOOTH, folks. Like, smoother than Ivanka's thighs, OK? #MAGA  - @WHITEHOUSE_ORG ###  

Standing Up For LAW ENFORCEMENT

THE PRESIDENT: As all my addresses to Joint Sessions of Congress will make abundantly clear: America is, basically, a costume party. If you wear a uniform, you get worshipped -- no questions asked. You can riddle a black teenager, who's begging for mercy, with bullets...

Abortion Rights WRONGS

THE PRESIDENT: I never really cared about abortion – beyond demanding receipts before cutting the reimbursement checks…