Contact

NOTICE: To contact your perfect POTUS about KEEPING AMERICA GREAT, CLICK HERE. For all other (unimportant) issues, read EVERY WORD below CAREFULLY, OK?

Dear Poorly Educated Voter,

Congrats on wanting to send your cute little opinion to WHITEHOUSE.ORG, where let’s be honest, nobody gives a fuck what you think, loser. And even if I did, my staff is jumping ship way too fast to waste MANpower reading bitchy emails from morons so piss-poor and unimportant, they have time to scribble their lousy brain farts on the internets. Anyway, I’ve really got America bent over a barrel now, and I’m so busy deep-dicking her tight little shitter like one of my creamy-assed porn sluts, I don’t listen to anyone — let alone some nobody sucker like you. But tell you what: if you ever bank a few billion, you can pay full price for a Mar-a-Lago membership and come whisper fabulous treason stuff my ear any time, OK?

—
Donald J. Trump®
Your Horse-Cocked POTUS
https://WHITEHOUSE.ORG
 

ВНИМАНИЕ: переходя по ссылке НАЖМИТЕ ЗДЕСЬ выше, вы подтверждаете, что являетесь типичным американским дебилом, который вскоре станет побежденным рабом Матери России после того, как верховный и отважный лидер Владимир Путин свергает вашу дерьмовую страну и использует свой гигантский 33-сантиметровый член, чтобы Трахни Дональда Трампа глубоко в его отвратительно раздутую прямую кишку кита.

KING DONALD J. TRUMP

Donald J. Trump: America’s most kick-ass President EVER! More famous than dirty hippy Jesus, he’s so fucking classy, he even shits in a SOLID GOLD TOILET. SO BOW & WORSHIP HIS MAGNIFICENT PRIAPIC TUMESCENCE, YOU WORTHLESS PISS-POOR LOSERS!

President On Mexico’s Refusal To Pay For Wall

THE PRESIDENT: So fed up with Mexico's stinginess! And I thought *Americans* were cheapasses about paying for stuff America needs! Sad! So I says to Mexico, "OK, you can buy the goddamn wall on layaway -- 3,900 easy installments! Or howza 'bout a reverse mortgage on...

The 5th of May FREEDOM FIESTA

TACO 'BOUT A nICE PARTY! Calling All Dreamers! Join El Hefe Trump® for fun, Fritos, and foreigners! Friday, May 5, 2017 White House South Lawn FREE to the pigmented public! Leave your ID at home! Fabulous Prizes: All-expenses paid vacations to exotic Tijuana!...

President Trump: National Security Savior

I told you, NOBODY knows more about national security than me, folks! So safe! #MAGA - @FantasticPOTUS

Introducing Obamacare TRUMPCARE®

Believe me, it’s all the healthcare you’ll ever need – or get! Nine out of ten insurance CEOs agree: “Take TRUMP HEALTH® daily and die quietly!”

Proclamation: 5 Reasons Why Andrew Jackson Is The 2nd Greatest President Ever

THE PRESIDENT: People come in the Oval Office and ask me, why do you have a boring, old painting of this "Andrew Jackson" fuck? I get their point: It’s not even a Thomas Kinkade! I tell them: “For only one reason: President Bannon is now the Oval Office interior...

Executive Order Protecting The Nation From Foreign Terrorist Entry Into The United States

We will ban from entering America all swarthy persons from the world’s most dangerous hotbeds…

Secretary DeVos Incorporates All America’s Public Schools In Cayman Islands

Here we go, folks! Secretery Betsy DeVos will RAM change down stupid @USedgov’s throat to Make Educasion Great Again! #MEGA - @FantasticPOTUS ###

Mar-a-Lago® VIP Reservations

Mar-a-Lago®, President Trump's glamorous private country club, is open for business! If you're a foreign leader (or CEO) who likes golf, huge shrimp cocktails, doing generous business with the Trump® family, or negotiating international treaties far from the glare of...

Take The #StillMAGA Milk Challenge!

Join the pro-Trump® sensation that’s sweeping America: trolling stupid P.C. Snowflakes by taking the #StillMAGA Milk Challenge!

America-Only RELIGIOUS FREEDOM

America is all about freedom – to be a Christian. And freedom to shit on losers the Bible tells you to hate because they aren’t Jesus groupies like you!