Contact

NOTICE: To contact your perfect POTUS about KEEPING AMERICA GREAT, CLICK HERE. For all other (unimportant) issues, read EVERY WORD below CAREFULLY, OK?

Dear Poorly Educated Voter,

Congrats on wanting to send your cute little opinion to WHITEHOUSE.ORG, where let’s be honest, nobody gives a fuck what you think, loser. And even if I did, my staff is jumping ship way too fast to waste MANpower reading bitchy emails from morons so piss-poor and unimportant, they have time to scribble their lousy brain farts on the internets. Anyway, I’ve really got America bent over a barrel now, and I’m so busy deep-dicking her tight little shitter like one of my creamy-assed porn sluts, I don’t listen to anyone — let alone some nobody sucker like you. But tell you what: if you ever bank a few billion, you can pay full price for a Mar-a-Lago membership and come whisper fabulous treason stuff my ear any time, OK?

—
Donald J. Trump®
Your Horse-Cocked POTUS
https://WHITEHOUSE.ORG
 

ВНИМАНИЕ: переходя по ссылке НАЖМИТЕ ЗДЕСЬ выше, вы подтверждаете, что являетесь типичным американским дебилом, который вскоре станет побежденным рабом Матери России после того, как верховный и отважный лидер Владимир Путин свергает вашу дерьмовую страну и использует свой гигантский 33-сантиметровый член, чтобы Трахни Дональда Трампа глубоко в его отвратительно раздутую прямую кишку кита.

KING DONALD J. TRUMP

Donald J. Trump: America’s most kick-ass President EVER! More famous than dirty hippy Jesus, he’s so fucking classy, he even shits in a SOLID GOLD TOILET. SO BOW & WORSHIP HIS MAGNIFICENT PRIAPIC TUMESCENCE, YOU WORTHLESS PISS-POOR LOSERS!

Russia Witch Hunt Survey

PATRIOT ALERT! You already knew the Fake News Media was out to SABOTAGE President Trump, but now even the GOP “Deep State” is yammering about “evidence” and so-called “laws” and “justice” to destroy POTUS. With so many LIES floating around, it’s hard to know...

President Responds To Terror-Loving Airport Trespassers

Be SCARED, because at any moment you could be murdered at Carl’s Junior by a one-legged Syrian war orphan!

President Trump’s First Trip Abroad

POTUS ABROAD: OFFICIAL ITINERARY MAP

Obamacare Horror Story: Dr. Breem’s Lament

ATTENTION PATRIOTS: President Trump will not rest until Obamacare is DEAD; bled out and hanging from the branch of a tree like a freshly bagged cheetah on safari. YOU CAN HELP: Submit your #OBAMACAREHORROR Story @ WHITEHOUSE.ORG/OBAMACARE-HORROR today! ###...

ON SALE NOW: “Winter Situation Room” VIP All-Access Pass!

Join Trump® Mar-a-Lago today to enjoy fabulous front-row seats at ALL weekend nuclear crises! Free hot & cold buffet included! Supplies limited!

2017 Republican Loyalty Pledge

I do hereby pledge total loyalty to Donald J. Trump, exalted Savior of the dysfunctional Frankenstein non-coalition formerly known as “The Republican Party.”

CHINA POLICY: First 100 Days

Failing @NYTimes does FAKE NEWS saying I’m blowing it with STUPID CHINA.

President’s Paris Accord Withdrawal Statement

POTUS: My job is to make every asthmatic brat on earth gasp & wheeze & wish they’d never been born such pathetic rejects! #ParisAccord

DRAINING THE SWAMP

THE PRESIDENT: On ethics reform, as part of my plan to "Drain the Swamp" so we can frack the shit out of it, I will immediately release my tax returns, eliminate all conflicts of interest, and liquidate my foreign holdings. (PAUSE) OK, I’m fucking with you. Again....

President Trump’s First 100 Days

#TRUMP100DAYS: In his first magnificent, tumescent, godlike 100 days, President Donald J. Trump has recited bold words to restore his family's prosperity, keep Americans safe from inconvenient information, and hold everyone else in government accountable, while...