Author: johnwooden

Ask The First Ladies

After a lucky Trump® White House supporter won our free lottery (and her check cleared), First Ladies Melania®, Ivanka®, Ivana® Trump & Marla Maples jumped on a conference call to… MAKE THIS AMERICAN GREAT AGAIN! To submit YOUR question, email askthefirstladies@whitehouse.org. TRANSCRIPT: CALLER: Thanks for taking my call, girls! MELANIA: I NOT call girl! IVANA: And I’m not 29. TODAY! IVANKA: Where are you calling from, customer – ur, I mean concerned citizen! CALLER: Perry. MELANIA: Oh, I use to model in Paris! MARLA: I didn’t think you “modeled” IN anything! IVANA: This caller sound like Marla relative. Who knew?...

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Ivanka® Trump Wise Words #ITWISEWORDS

THE FIRST LADY-DAUGHTER: Hello America, Ivanka® Trump here. Some of you might wonder why my daddy wants me reviewing top-secret intelligence and joining heads-of-state meetings that even Mike Pence isn’t allowed to attend. Well I’ll tell you: it’s because I’m so WISE. And that’s why I’m bringing my IvankaTrump.com “Wise Words” campaign (#ITWISEWORDS) here to the White House – for purely humanitarian and non-promotional reasons. Enjoy! So wise, right? You now owe me $1.99 for having just read my copyrighted words. True, not my words, but still, so WISE. I routinely commercially appropriate other people’s words in order to hawk my Chinese-made clothes....

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WHITEHOUSE.ORG MATERIAL RELEASE

PLEASE READ THIS IMPORTANT INFORMATION By submitting material, whether in the form of a photo, license, text, video, animation, music or otherwise (the “Material), to WHITEHOUSE.ORG via a web-based submission form (ex: “OBAMACARE HORROR STORIES” @ http://whitehouse.org/obamacare-horror), you hereby grant to WHITEHOUSE.ORG / Americatastic Inc., its parents, affiliates, subsidiaries, assigns, employees, licensees (including, but not limited to, any networks, sponsors, marketing partners or exhibitors) and legal representatives (collectively, “WHO”) the irrevocable, perpetual, worldwide right to (a) copyright, reproduce, encode, store, copy, transmit, publish, post, broadcast, display, publicly perform, adapt, modify, creative derivative works of, exhibit and otherwise use the Material (with or without any attribution of any kind) in any media throughout the world for any purpose, without limitation, and without additional review, compensation or approval by you or any other party , and (b) use and edit (and grant to others the right and license to use and edit) your name, likeness, persona, biographical material, nickname and voice contained in the Material, through WHITEHOUSE.ORG, WHITEHOUSE.ORG mobile apps, WHITEHOUSE.ORG satellite web and mobile offerings on third party social networks and any other products or services as WHO may designate, and any other Web sites not designated by WHO, in any medium now known or hereafter devised, online, on-air, or offline and by any means of delivery, for editorial, commercial, promotional and all other purposes. You further agree not to...

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Trump® Meals on Wheels™

Introducing all-new, super-classy… TRUMP® MEALS ON WHEELS™ “Only I can help shut-in grandma enjoy a fabulous, vitamin-packed meal, folks. And I’ll do it without having to raise my own taxes!” – Donald J. Trump My food plan is just like my healthcare plan: It promises ACCESS to everyone! All the poor have to do is follow these simple, easy-access steps, available to everyone. JOINING IS EASY. SIGN UP TODAY: 1. Download Official Federal App (iPhone 8 Only) 2. Enter American Express Number (Black Card Only) 3. Order direct from local TRUMP® Steakhouse 5. Nutritious meal delivered in +/- 12...

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