President’s Paris Accord Withdrawal Statement

Believe me, so-called “Trans” people should feel lucky they’re not pissing in a bucket around the corner…

“I using high fashion design for redecorate White House so classy. Add puff of gold here, make quaint room for pouting there!”

“I looking even more pretty when sit next ugly ‘Goatse Tree’ planted by frumpy lesbian Eleanor Roosevelt, no?”

Vaccines are FAKE MEDICINE. From now on, Measles will be called “Freedom Freckles.”

100% regular, all-American person “Andy from Arkansas” has wise words for stupid losers who think POTUS secretly loves glorious Mother Russia!

Be SCARED, because at any moment you could be murdered at Carl’s Junior by a one-legged Syrian war orphan!

THE PRESIDENT: So fed up with Mexico's stinginess! And I thought *Americans* were cheapasses about paying for stuff America needs! Sad! So I says to Mexico, "OK, you can buy the goddamn wall on layaway -- 3,900 easy installments! Or howza 'bout a reverse mortgage on...

POTUS welcomes bids fond farewell to carefully vetted, 1000% LOYAL Tony Scaramucci to WHITEHOUSE.ORG. So great to be have briefly been working with a life-long fan! ??? ###  

Trump® White House totally gets back at FAKE news @NYtimes ? by not letting them in room?when Sean Spicer avoids everyone else's questions! - @FantasticPOTUS ###

In the wake of mass resignations from President Trump's CEO, Infrastructure and Arts Councils, U.S. Secretary of Religious Freedom Pastor Deacon Fred explains why evangelical support for POTUS remains ROCK HARD.   ###