Obamacare Horror Stories: Submit Yours!

Obamacare Horror Stories
Submit Yours!

THE PRESIDENT: Folks, it doesn’t matter if Ryancare a.k.a. “The American Healthcare Act” went down in flames. Going forward – just out of spite – my entire strategy is to let Obamacare EXPLODE – no matter how many people end up dying in the meantime of appendicitis and infected hangnails! My fabulous team is standing by, ready to make more heartfelt social propaganda videos for the Twitgram and the FaceSnap, so SUBMIT YOUR OBAMACARE HORROR STORY TODAY!

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That So-Called “Race” Stuff

My base thinks it’s hilarious I’m calling them “thugs” –a word that everyone knows is code for “horny urban negro.”

Standing Up For LAW ENFORCEMENT

THE PRESIDENT: As all my addresses to Joint Sessions of Congress will make abundantly clear: America is, basically, a costume party. If you wear a uniform, you get worshipped -- no questions asked. You can riddle a black teenager, who's begging for mercy, with bullets...

People Are Saying: TRUMPCARE® ROCKS!

People Are Saying: TRUMPCARE® ROCKS! Darlene Johnson - Head Mop at the Porn Palace in Knoxville TN, shares her inspiring tale of overcoming stupid Obamacare's #FAKENEWS to arrive at a TRUMPCARE® MIRACLE!   ###  

President Announces SCOTUS Appointee Neil Gorsuch

Neil Gorsuch — Isn’t he FABULOUS, folks? So fabulous. You know I like having judges who owe me, OK?

President Trump: National Security Savior

I told you, NOBODY knows more about national security than me, folks! So safe! #MAGA - @FantasticPOTUS

KING DONALD J. TRUMP

Donald J. Trump: America’s most kick-ass President EVER! More famous than dirty hippy Jesus, he’s so fucking classy, he even shits in a SOLID GOLD TOILET. SO BOW & WORSHIP HIS MAGNIFICENT PRIAPIC TUMESCENCE, YOU WORTHLESS PISS-POOR LOSERS!

President Responds To Terror-Loving Airport Trespassers

Be SCARED, because at any moment you could be murdered at Carl’s Junior by a one-legged Syrian war orphan!

SNITCHES GET RICHES!

Have you spotted a so-called “dreamer” who seems suspiciously less American than you? Submit your sightings of exotically “other” persons here for a chance to win fabulous Trump® luxury goods and services!

White House Counsels Kellyanne Conway on Hawking Ivanka Trump® Shoes on TV

“White House employees know they are to pimp only the full-price Trump merchandise,” Chief of Staff Reince Priebus reiterated in a statement to the press.

HUGE TRADE Deals

THE PRESIDENT: On the Trans-Pacific Partnership, I will do what I do with all “TP” – flush it! And tell all those trannie pacifists they’ll NEVER pee in the wrong bathroom at the TRUMP White House. #MAGA #PolicyByTweet: We need to go back to saying the words...