Melania® Presents: The White House Makeover

THE PRESIDENT: On energy, I will stop supporting sissy stuff like wind and solar and rainbows and all that liberal hippy-dippy spiral-dancer earth-lover bullshit, and go back to a future where huge, dick-like smokestacks belch out thick, beautiful GOLDEN clouds of...

A dangerous CRIME WAVE of TERRORIST MEXICAN BLACK LIVES MATTER GEORGE SOROS PROTESTORS is sweeping AMERICA and NO ONE is safe! Don’t look at FBI statistics because they’re FAKE FACTS!

Today, 50 days into my administration, a worshipful national pride stirs in the nine-in-five Americans who voted against Crooked Hillary…

#TRUMP100DAYS: In his first magnificent, tumescent, godlike 100 days, President Donald J. Trump has recited bold words to restore his family's prosperity, keep Americans safe from inconvenient information, and hold everyone else in government accountable, while...

Vaccines are FAKE MEDICINE. From now on, Measles will be called “Freedom Freckles.”

POTUS welcomes bids fond farewell to carefully vetted, 1000% LOYAL Tony Scaramucci to WHITEHOUSE.ORG. So great to be have briefly been working with a life-long fan! ??? ###  

The latest victim of Obamacare’s roving Death Panels? Speaker Paul Ryan’s career! He wasn’t man enough to pass the American Health Care Act. Pussy!

POTUS ABROAD: OFFICIAL ITINERARY MAP

NOW HIRING: BACKUP U.S. ATTORNEY GENERAL WANTED: Trump® White House seeks a backup Attorney General to unquestioningly obey Mighty POTUS, but tell America he is running the Justice Department through (at least) eight years of 100% undetected scandal and treasonous...

“I using high fashion design for redecorate White House so classy. Add puff of gold here, make quaint room for pouting there!”