The 5th of May FREEDOM FIESTA

Fifth of May Freedom Fiesta

TACO ‘BOUT A nICE PARTY!

Calling All Dreamers! Join El Hefe Trump®
for fun, Fritos, and foreigners!

Friday, May 5, 2017
White House South Lawn
FREE to the pigmented public!
Leave your ID at home!

Fabulous Prizes:
All-expenses paid
vacations to exotic
Tijuana! (one-way)

2017 Republican Loyalty Pledge

I do hereby pledge total loyalty to Donald J. Trump, exalted Savior of the dysfunctional Frankenstein non-coalition formerly known as “The Republican Party.”

President’s Blueprint For Israeli Peace

OK - 1, 2, 50 state solution? I don't care. According to Bannon, Jesus is going to destroy that whole ugly dustbowl anyhow. Luckily there's always room at MY Inn: Trump® #MiddleEast Resorts! - @FantasticPOTUS

President Responds To Terror-Loving Airport Trespassers

Be SCARED, because at any moment you could be murdered at Carl’s Junior by a one-legged Syrian war orphan!

Evangelicals For Trump!

In the wake of mass resignations from President Trump's CEO, Infrastructure and Arts Councils, U.S. Secretary of Religious Freedom Pastor Deacon Fred explains why evangelical support for POTUS remains ROCK HARD.   ###  

PREEMPTIVE PARDON of Donald Trump, Jr.

IN FURTHERANCE OF L’IL DONNIE’S SLOPPY FUCKUPS BRAGGING TO ME ABOUT HIS STUPID MEETINGS AND LEAVING A PAPER TRAIL ABOUT OLLUSION-CAY WITH THE USSIANS-RAY, WHICH IF ANYONE IS GUILTY FOR, IT’S HIS GOLD-DIGGER HAG MOTHER IVANA AND HER GARBAGE CZECHOSLOVAKIAN DNA THAT MADE HIM HALF RETARD. SAD!

America-Only IMMIGRATION

THE PRESIDENT: On immigration, we’re gonna get rid of immigration; we’re gonna have immiGREATion. It will be so great. I don’t know how yet, but believe me. There may be no fresh produce in your grocery store, but that’s a small price to pay for never having to press...

Executive Order Protecting The Nation From Foreign Terrorist Entry Into The United States

We will ban from entering America all swarthy persons from the world’s most dangerous hotbeds…

President Donald Trump’s Tax Returns

POTUS: Nosy crybabies want me to #ReleaseTheReturns? I’ve authorized my IRS to do it! Now #STFU and bend over for some tax cuts 4 the rich!

Executive Order On Alternative Science

Vaccines are FAKE MEDICINE. From now on, Measles will be called “Freedom Freckles.”

Abortion Rights WRONGS

THE PRESIDENT: I never really cared about abortion – beyond demanding receipts before cutting the reimbursement checks…