President Trump’s First 100 Days

#TRUMP100DAYS: In his first magnificent, tumescent, godlike 100 days, President Donald J. Trump has recited bold words to restore his family’s prosperity, keep Americans safe from inconvenient information, and hold everyone else in government accountable, while providing blank, pre-signed ethics waivers to all family, friends and Executive Branch worker bees.

While his accomplishments are too historically epic and countless to list, below is a tiny sampling of his HUGE SUCCESSES…

Sticking It To The Media:

–> www.whitehouse.org/fake-news-survey

An Unstoppable Work Ethic:

–> President’s Weekly Vacation Schedule

Assembling An Epic Team:

Career Opportunities

–> Jobs At Trump® White House

At an historic pace, this President has enacted more legislation to promote pollution and signed more executive orders to promote the constitutional right of the Judiciary Brand to nullify the Executive Brand than any other president in over a billion years.

–> On Energy: Keeping Pennsyltucky Coal Guys Underground

A New Savior For America’s Seniors:

Trump Meals on Wheels

A Healthcare Home Run!

Paul RyanCare Fail

economic growth

A Paragon Of Family Values:

Fabulous Mar-a-Lago Vacations! 100 days on the job? POTUS has 23 days left if you subtract Mar-a-Lago!

Mar-a-Lago VIP Express Booking

Book Now @ https://whitehouse.org/mar-a-lago-vip

A-List Glamour Comes To The Oval Office:

With a focus on enabling our cash-junkie military, by removing healthcare from children and thereby ensuring that there will be less oldsters down the line to slurp up Medicaid dollars that could go to Pentagon toys, harassing workers who look Mexican-ish, and promoting Trump hotels and resorts, both here and abroad, the President is keeping his promises made while not crossing his fingers under the podium to the American people.

And so today, join POTUS in celebrating #100Days of BLOWING YOUR MIND WITH WORDS ABOUT  HOW MUCH POTUS HAS DONE IN 100 DAYS! #MAGA

 

PROCLAMATION: “NATIONAL DAY OF PATRIOTIC DEVOTION 2”

Today, 50 days into my administration, a worshipful national pride stirs in the nine-in-five Americans who voted against Crooked Hillary…

KING DONALD J. TRUMP

Donald J. Trump: America’s most kick-ass President EVER! More famous than dirty hippy Jesus, he’s so fucking classy, he even shits in a SOLID GOLD TOILET. SO BOW & WORSHIP HIS MAGNIFICENT PRIAPIC TUMESCENCE, YOU WORTHLESS PISS-POOR LOSERS!

Celebrating #RealNews Pundit Jerry Falwell, Jr.

Jerry Falwell Jr. of Liberty University was fantastic on “Fox & Friends.” The Fake News should listen to what he had to say. Thanks Jerry!

President On Mexico’s Refusal To Pay For Wall

THE PRESIDENT: So fed up with Mexico's stinginess! And I thought *Americans* were cheapasses about paying for stuff America needs! Sad! So I says to Mexico, "OK, you can buy the goddamn wall on layaway -- 3,900 easy installments! Or howza 'bout a reverse mortgage on...

Ask The First Ladies

After a lucky Trump® White House supporter won our free lottery (and her check cleared), First Ladies Melania®, Ivanka®, Ivana® Trump & Marla Maples jumped on a conference call to... MAKE THIS AMERICAN GREAT AGAIN! To submit YOUR question, email...

Secretary DeVos Incorporates All America’s Public Schools In Cayman Islands

Here we go, folks! Secretery Betsy DeVos will RAM change down stupid @USedgov’s throat to Make Educasion Great Again! #MEGA - @FantasticPOTUS ###

America-Only RELIGIOUS FREEDOM

America is all about freedom – to be a Christian. And freedom to shit on losers the Bible tells you to hate because they aren’t Jesus groupies like you!

DRAINING THE SWAMP

THE PRESIDENT: On ethics reform, as part of my plan to "Drain the Swamp" so we can frack the shit out of it, I will immediately release my tax returns, eliminate all conflicts of interest, and liquidate my foreign holdings. (PAUSE) OK, I’m fucking with you. Again....

HUGE TRADE Deals

THE PRESIDENT: On the Trans-Pacific Partnership, I will do what I do with all “TP” – flush it! And tell all those trannie pacifists they’ll NEVER pee in the wrong bathroom at the TRUMP White House. #MAGA #PolicyByTweet: We need to go back to saying the words...

Executive Order Regarding First Lady-Daughter’s Clothing Line

Executive Order #34567: Everybody in America has to wear IVANKA TRUMP® panties OR ELSE!