President Trump’s First 100 Days

#TRUMP100DAYS: In his first magnificent, tumescent, godlike 100 days, President Donald J. Trump has recited bold words to restore his family’s prosperity, keep Americans safe from inconvenient information, and hold everyone else in government accountable, while providing blank, pre-signed ethics waivers to all family, friends and Executive Branch worker bees.

While his accomplishments are too historically epic and countless to list, below is a tiny sampling of his HUGE SUCCESSES…

Sticking It To The Media:

–> www.whitehouse.org/fake-news-survey

An Unstoppable Work Ethic:

–> President’s Weekly Vacation Schedule

Assembling An Epic Team:

Career Opportunities

–> Jobs At Trump® White House

At an historic pace, this President has enacted more legislation to promote pollution and signed more executive orders to promote the constitutional right of the Judiciary Brand to nullify the Executive Brand than any other president in over a billion years.

–> On Energy: Keeping Pennsyltucky Coal Guys Underground

A New Savior For America’s Seniors:

Trump Meals on Wheels

A Healthcare Home Run!

Paul RyanCare Fail

economic growth

A Paragon Of Family Values:

Fabulous Mar-a-Lago Vacations! 100 days on the job? POTUS has 23 days left if you subtract Mar-a-Lago!

Mar-a-Lago VIP Express Booking

Book Now @ https://whitehouse.org/mar-a-lago-vip

A-List Glamour Comes To The Oval Office:

With a focus on enabling our cash-junkie military, by removing healthcare from children and thereby ensuring that there will be less oldsters down the line to slurp up Medicaid dollars that could go to Pentagon toys, harassing workers who look Mexican-ish, and promoting Trump hotels and resorts, both here and abroad, the President is keeping his promises made while not crossing his fingers under the podium to the American people.

And so today, join POTUS in celebrating #100Days of BLOWING YOUR MIND WITH WORDS ABOUT  HOW MUCH POTUS HAS DONE IN 100 DAYS! #MAGA

 

President On Mexico’s Refusal To Pay For Wall

THE PRESIDENT: So fed up with Mexico's stinginess! And I thought *Americans* were cheapasses about paying for stuff America needs! Sad! So I says to Mexico, "OK, you can buy the goddamn wall on layaway -- 3,900 easy installments! Or howza 'bout a reverse mortgage on...

Melania® Trump Presents: White House Easter Egg Roll 2017

“I looking even more pretty when sit next ugly ‘Goatse Tree’ planted by frumpy lesbian Eleanor Roosevelt, no?”

Executive Order On Alternative Science

Vaccines are FAKE MEDICINE. From now on, Measles will be called “Freedom Freckles.”

PROCLAMATION: “NATIONAL DAY OF PATRIOTIC DEVOTION 2”

Today, 50 days into my administration, a worshipful national pride stirs in the nine-in-five Americans who voted against Crooked Hillary…

President’s Paris Accord Withdrawal Statement

POTUS: My job is to make every asthmatic brat on earth gasp & wheeze & wish they’d never been born such pathetic rejects! #ParisAccord

Executive Order On Gender Urination Stagefright

Believe me, so-called “Trans” people should feel lucky they’re not pissing in a bucket around the corner…

President’s Weekly Vacation Schedule

If it’s Monday, that means POTUS is back from his $3+Million vacation & ready to #MAGA – for a few days anyway…

PRESIDENT’S STATEMENT ON FABULOUS INSTANT SYRIA WAR

THE PRESIDENT: [Inhales sharply.] OK, wait until you see how serious I deliver this. So serious. And. Very. Very. Presidential. Like, Sean Hannity will be totally creaming in his pinstripe slacks any second now, folks.

President Responds To Terror-Loving Airport Trespassers

Be SCARED, because at any moment you could be murdered at Carl’s Junior by a one-legged Syrian war orphan!

President Trump: National Security Savior

I told you, NOBODY knows more about national security than me, folks! So safe! #MAGA - @FantasticPOTUS