President Trump’s First 100 Days

#TRUMP100DAYS: In his first magnificent, tumescent, godlike 100 days, President Donald J. Trump has recited bold words to restore his family’s prosperity, keep Americans safe from inconvenient information, and hold everyone else in government accountable, while providing blank, pre-signed ethics waivers to all family, friends and Executive Branch worker bees.

While his accomplishments are too historically epic and countless to list, below is a tiny sampling of his HUGE SUCCESSES…

Sticking It To The Media:


An Unstoppable Work Ethic:

–> President’s Weekly Vacation Schedule

Assembling An Epic Team:

Career Opportunities

–> Jobs At Trump® White House

At an historic pace, this President has enacted more legislation to promote pollution and signed more executive orders to promote the constitutional right of the Judiciary Brand to nullify the Executive Brand than any other president in over a billion years.

–> On Energy: Keeping Pennsyltucky Coal Guys Underground

A New Savior For America’s Seniors:

Trump Meals on Wheels

A Healthcare Home Run!

Paul RyanCare Fail

economic growth

A Paragon Of Family Values:

Fabulous Mar-a-Lago Vacations! 100 days on the job? POTUS has 23 days left if you subtract Mar-a-Lago!

Mar-a-Lago VIP Express Booking

Book Now @

A-List Glamour Comes To The Oval Office:

With a focus on enabling our cash-junkie military, by removing healthcare from children and thereby ensuring that there will be less oldsters down the line to slurp up Medicaid dollars that could go to Pentagon toys, harassing workers who look Mexican-ish, and promoting Trump hotels and resorts, both here and abroad, the President is keeping his promises made while not crossing his fingers under the podium to the American people.

And so today, join POTUS in celebrating #100Days of BLOWING YOUR MIND WITH WORDS ABOUT  HOW MUCH POTUS HAS DONE IN 100 DAYS! #MAGA


President’s Paris Accord Withdrawal Statement

POTUS: My job is to make every asthmatic brat on earth gasp & wheeze & wish they’d never been born such pathetic rejects! #ParisAccord

President Announces SCOTUS Appointee Neil Gorsuch

Neil Gorsuch — Isn’t he FABULOUS, folks? So fabulous. You know I like having judges who owe me, OK?

President On Mexico’s Refusal To Pay For Wall

THE PRESIDENT: So fed up with Mexico's stinginess! And I thought *Americans* were cheapasses about paying for stuff America needs! Sad! So I says to Mexico, "OK, you can buy the goddamn wall on layaway -- 3,900 easy installments! Or howza 'bout a reverse mortgage on...


TACO 'BOUT A nICE PARTY! Calling All Dreamers! Join El Hefe Trump® for fun, Fritos, and foreigners! Friday, May 5, 2017 White House South Lawn FREE to the pigmented public! Leave your ID at home! Fabulous Prizes: All-expenses paid vacations to exotic Tijuana!...

President’s Blueprint For Israeli Peace

OK - 1, 2, 50 state solution? I don't care. According to Bannon, Jesus is going to destroy that whole ugly dustbowl anyhow. Luckily there's always room at MY Inn: Trump® #MiddleEast Resorts! - @FantasticPOTUS

Abortion Rights WRONGS

THE PRESIDENT: I never really cared about abortion – beyond demanding receipts before cutting the reimbursement checks…

Secretary DeVos Incorporates All America’s Public Schools In Cayman Islands

Here we go, folks! Secretery Betsy DeVos will RAM change down stupid @USedgov’s throat to Make Educasion Great Again! #MEGA - @FantasticPOTUS ###

An America-Only JOBS & GROWTH Plan

THE PRESIDENT: To stimulate jobs, we must gut any and all regulations that stand in the way of profit at any cost. That's why for every new regulation, I will require that two be eliminated! Which ones? Pick out of a hat -- I don’t care. Details are for nosy Special...

2017 Republican Loyalty Pledge

I do hereby pledge total loyalty to Donald J. Trump, exalted Savior of the dysfunctional Frankenstein non-coalition formerly known as “The Republican Party.”

President’s Statement On Failing, Stupid Nordstrom & Other Loser Retailers

Now Neiman Marcus is kicking my sexy girl to the curb! I told Bibi the Jews can forget about America’s support!