Melania® Trump Presents: White House Easter Egg Roll 2017

THE FIRST LADY: Please for joining me, Melania®, now to reading book for rebirth day of Jewish hippy Jesus. I looking even more pretty when sit next ugly “Goatse Tree” planted by frumpy lesbian Eleanor Roosevelt, no? You are enjoying the story now!

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President’s Statement On Failing, Stupid Nordstrom & Other Loser Retailers

Now Neiman Marcus is kicking my sexy girl to the curb! I told Bibi the Jews can forget about America’s support!

President Announces SCOTUS Appointee Neil Gorsuch

Neil Gorsuch — Isn’t he FABULOUS, folks? So fabulous. You know I like having judges who owe me, OK?

Introducing Obamacare TRUMPCARE®

Believe me, it’s all the healthcare you’ll ever need – or get! Nine out of ten insurance CEOs agree: “Take TRUMP HEALTH® daily and die quietly!”

America-Only LGBTQ Stuff

THE PRESIDENT: OK, I got nothing against the homos. If I did, would I have used Liberace as my decorator? He took one look at my Trump Tower condo and said, "Giiiiirl, I'm going to whomp this wasteland up 'til she looks like a Persian prostitute won the lottery!"...

President’s Paris Accord Withdrawal Statement

POTUS: My job is to make every asthmatic brat on earth gasp & wheeze & wish they’d never been born such pathetic rejects! #ParisAccord

Welcome FAREWELL Life-Long Trump Supporter Tony Scaramucci

POTUS welcomes bids fond farewell to carefully vetted, 1000% LOYAL Tony Scaramucci to WHITEHOUSE.ORG. So great to be have briefly been working with a life-long fan! ??? ###  

Trumpism At Work: Tackling Complicated Stuff

Trumpism At Work: Tackling Complicated Stuff Americans everywhere are taking POTUS' lead on solving complicated problems! Join them! #TrumpismAtWork #MAGA  Yes, YOU TOO can solve complicated problems like a GENIUS BILLIONAIRE! Work it like @POTUS, America!...

Sean Spicer Bravely Combats Scourge of Fake News

Trump® White House totally gets back at FAKE news @NYtimes ? by not letting them in room?when Sean Spicer avoids everyone else's questions! - @FantasticPOTUS ###

Obamacare Horror Stories: Submit Yours!

Obamacare Horror Stories Submit Yours! THE PRESIDENT: Folks, it doesn't matter if Ryancare a.k.a. "The American Healthcare Act" went down in flames. Going forward - just out of spite - my entire strategy is to let Obamacare EXPLODE - no matter how many people end up...

Executive Order Greenlighting HUGE Oil Pipelines

All whiny injuns will be bulldozed into their precious sacred rivers, just before they get deluged with…