“I using high fashion design for redecorate White House so classy. Add puff of gold here, make quaint room for pouting there!”
100% regular, all-American person “Andy from Arkansas” has wise words for stupid losers who think POTUS secretly loves glorious Mother Russia!
Donald J. Trump: America’s most kick-ass President EVER! More famous than dirty hippy Jesus, he’s so fucking classy, he even shits in a SOLID GOLD TOILET. SO BOW & WORSHIP HIS MAGNIFICENT PRIAPIC TUMESCENCE, YOU WORTHLESS PISS-POOR LOSERS!
“White House employees know they are to pimp only the full-price Trump merchandise,” Chief of Staff Reince Priebus reiterated in a statement to the press.
THE PRESIDENT: [Inhales sharply.] OK, wait until you see how serious I deliver this. So serious. And. Very. Very. Presidential. Like, Sean Hannity will be totally creaming in his pinstripe slacks any second now, folks.
Now Neiman Marcus is kicking my sexy girl to the curb! I told Bibi the Jews can forget about America’s support!