Trump® Meals on Wheels™

Introducing all-new, super-classy…

TRUMP® MEALS ON WHEELS™

“Only I can help shut-in grandma enjoy a fabulous, vitamin-packed meal, folks. And I’ll do it without having to raise my own taxes!” – Donald J. Trump

My food plan is just like my healthcare plan: It promises ACCESS to everyone! All the poor have to do is follow these simple, easy-access steps, available to everyone.

JOINING IS EASY. SIGN UP TODAY:
1. Download Official Federal App (iPhone 8 Only)
2. Enter American Express Number (Black Card Only)
3. Order direct from local TRUMP® Steakhouse
5. Nutritious meal delivered in +/- 12 hrs. ($75 Minimum)

Ivanka® Trump Wise Words #ITWISEWORDS

THE FIRST LADY-DAUGHTER: Hello America, Ivanka® Trump here. Some of you might wonder why my daddy wants me reviewing top-secret intelligence and joining heads-of-state meetings that even Mike Pence isn't allowed to attend. Well I'll tell you: it's because I'm so WISE....

TRUMP® Alchemy Academy: Now Enrolling

Trump University lawsuit still not settled! Unfair! I told L’il Donnie to give those ingrates 2% off NEW Trump® Alchemy Academy. FINAL OFFER!

Mar-a-Lago® VIP Reservations

Mar-a-Lago®, President Trump's glamorous private country club, is open for business! If you're a foreign leader (or CEO) who likes golf, huge shrimp cocktails, doing generous business with the Trump® family, or negotiating international treaties far from the glare of...

Trump® Meals on Wheels™

Introducing all-new, super-classy... TRUMP® MEALS ON WHEELS™ My food plan is just like my healthcare plan:...

TRUMP® VODKA: Bankruptcy Liquidation!

TRUMP® VODKA: Archer Daniels Midland Industrial Ethanol Never Tasted SO FUCKING CLASSY! (Now in unbreakable plastic luxury!) Bankruptcy Liquidation now underway!

Spring Special: L’IL DONNIE TRUMP “BIG BOY PANTS”

Now available in fresh spring-grey: The ORIGINAL L'il Donnie Trump® "BIG BOY PANTS." They're just like daddy's! Take it from Little Donnie himself: Available Exclusively at all Trump®...

MELANIA® – Fine Art Collection From Trump Museum of Class™

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ON SALE NOW: “Winter Situation Room” VIP All-Access Pass!

Join Trump® Mar-a-Lago today to enjoy fabulous front-row seats at ALL weekend nuclear crises! Free hot & cold buffet included! Supplies limited!

TRUMP MODELS: Pre-Owned Clearance Special!

TRUMP® MODELS EXCLUSIVE OFFER: Planning a fabulous country club birthday party for your prodigal male puberteen? Then don't miss your chance to give him a night he'll never forget! Order the ultimate, super-classy boys' coming-of-age entertainment package. (Pole NOT...