L’il Donnie Presents: BIG FAT TREASON-BURGER®

Hungry? Dig in to L’il Donnie Trump’s delicious new BIG FAT TREASON-BURGER, and taste the collusion! Try it with our formerly secret sauce — AKA “Russian Dressing”!? ?? ?

 

“I LOVE IT!”

– Donald J. Trump Jr.

TRUMP MODELS: Pre-Owned Clearance Special!

TRUMP® MODELS EXCLUSIVE OFFER: Planning a fabulous country club birthday party for your prodigal male puberteen? Then don't miss your chance to give him a night he'll never forget! Order the ultimate, super-classy boys' coming-of-age entertainment package. (Pole NOT...

Mar-a-Lago® VIP Reservations

Mar-a-Lago®, President Trump's glamorous private country club, is open for business! If you're a foreign leader (or CEO) who likes golf, huge shrimp cocktails, doing generous business with the Trump® family, or negotiating international treaties far from the glare of...

Spring Special: L’IL DONNIE TRUMP “BIG BOY PANTS”

Now available in fresh spring-grey: The ORIGINAL L'il Donnie Trump® "BIG BOY PANTS." They're just like daddy's! Take it from Little Donnie himself: Available Exclusively at all Trump®...

ON SALE NOW: “Winter Situation Room” VIP All-Access Pass!

Join Trump® Mar-a-Lago today to enjoy fabulous front-row seats at ALL weekend nuclear crises! Free hot & cold buffet included! Supplies limited!

TRUMP® VODKA: Bankruptcy Liquidation!

TRUMP® VODKA: Archer Daniels Midland Industrial Ethanol Never Tasted SO FUCKING CLASSY! (Now in unbreakable plastic luxury!) Bankruptcy Liquidation now underway!

TRUMP® Alchemy Academy: Now Enrolling

Trump University lawsuit still not settled! Unfair! I told L’il Donnie to give those ingrates 2% off NEW Trump® Alchemy Academy. FINAL OFFER!

Melania® Presents: The FLOTUS™ Collection

Introducing Melania® FLOTUS™ – “So good for ‘float us’ over dirty ground waters into penthouse with Evian waters!” ON SALE NOW! ? ? ?? ?

MELANIA® – Fine Art Collection From Trump Museum of Class™

Introducing MELANIA® - THE FINE ART COLLECTION. Only the finest, most classiestest, 100% authentic replicas of priceless artworks from Trump® Museum of Class™. Available Now!

Trump® Meals on Wheels™

Introducing all-new, super-classy... TRUMP® MEALS ON WHEELS™ My food plan is just like my healthcare plan:...