Secretary DeVos Incorporates All America’s Public Schools In Cayman Islands

ATTENTION PATRIOTS: President Trump will not rest until Obamacare is DEAD; bled out and hanging from the branch of a tree like a freshly bagged cheetah on safari. YOU CAN HELP: Submit your #OBAMACAREHORROR Story @ WHITEHOUSE.ORG/OBAMACARE-HORROR today! ###...

Now Neiman Marcus is kicking my sexy girl to the curb! I told Bibi the Jews can forget about America’s support!

THE PRESIDENT: OK, I got nothing against the homos. If I did, would I have used Liberace as my decorator? He took one look at my Trump Tower condo and said, "Giiiiirl, I'm going to whomp this wasteland up 'til she looks like a Persian prostitute won the lottery!"...

THE PRESIDENT: As all my addresses to Joint Sessions of Congress will make abundantly clear: America is, basically, a costume party. If you wear a uniform, you get worshipped -- no questions asked. You can riddle a black teenager, who's begging for mercy, with bullets...

IN FURTHERANCE OF L’IL DONNIE’S SLOPPY FUCKUPS BRAGGING TO ME ABOUT HIS STUPID MEETINGS AND LEAVING A PAPER TRAIL ABOUT OLLUSION-CAY WITH THE USSIANS-RAY, WHICH IF ANYONE IS GUILTY FOR, IT’S HIS GOLD-DIGGER HAG MOTHER IVANA AND HER GARBAGE CZECHOSLOVAKIAN DNA THAT MADE HIM HALF RETARD. SAD!

I told you, NOBODY knows more about national security than me, folks! So safe! #MAGA - @FantasticPOTUS

Today, 50 days into my administration, a worshipful national pride stirs in the nine-in-five Americans who voted against Crooked Hillary…

THE PRESIDENT: On energy, I will stop supporting sissy stuff like wind and solar and rainbows and all that liberal hippy-dippy spiral-dancer earth-lover bullshit, and go back to a future where huge, dick-like smokestacks belch out thick, beautiful GOLDEN clouds of...

“I using high fashion design for redecorate White House so classy. Add puff of gold here, make quaint room for pouting there!”

By Popular Demand: Jared Kushner, ethically spotless Sr. White House Advisor & Secretary Of All the Complicated Stuff, goes on the record regarding his alleged treason.