Sean Spicer Bravely Combats Scourge of Fake News

Trump® White House totally gets back at FAKE news @NYtimes ? by not letting them in room?when Sean Spicer avoids everyone else's questions! - @FantasticPOTUS ###

POTUS: Nosy crybabies want me to #ReleaseTheReturns? I’ve authorized my IRS to do it! Now #STFU and bend over for some tax cuts 4 the rich!

THE PRESIDENT: I never really cared about abortion – beyond demanding receipts before cutting the reimbursement checks…

Vaccines are FAKE MEDICINE. From now on, Measles will be called “Freedom Freckles.”

All whiny injuns will be bulldozed into their precious sacred rivers, just before they get deluged with…

America is all about freedom – to be a Christian. And freedom to shit on losers the Bible tells you to hate because they aren’t Jesus groupies like you!

“White House employees know they are to pimp only the full-price Trump merchandise,” Chief of Staff Reince Priebus reiterated in a statement to the press.

Trumpism At Work: Tackling Complicated Stuff Americans everywhere are taking POTUS' lead on solving complicated problems! Join them! #TrumpismAtWork #MAGA  Yes, YOU TOO can solve complicated problems like a GENIUS BILLIONAIRE! Work it like @POTUS, America!...

THE PRESIDENT: On immigration, we’re gonna get rid of immigration; we’re gonna have immiGREATion. It will be so great. I don’t know how yet, but believe me. There may be no fresh produce in your grocery store, but that’s a small price to pay for never having to press...

My base thinks it’s hilarious I’m calling them “thugs” –a word that everyone knows is code for “horny urban negro.”