THE PRESIDENT: First failing, stupid Nordstrom stores dropped my hot little girl’s really classy Chinese-made clothes! Not fair! Nordstrom wouldn’t know class if it took a dump on their face! And now Neiman Marcus is drop-kicking my really sexy daughter to the curb! I told Bibi that Israel can forget about America’s support if this is how the Jews are gonna treat us! Sad!

So by the power of POTUS, I decree all you losers better start showing some RESPECT to my hot Barbie doll offspring! Now! – @FantasticPOTUS