OK – 1, 2, 50 state solution? I don’t care. According to Bannon, Jesus is going to destroy that whole ugly dustbowl anyhow. Luckily there’s always room at MY Inn: Trump® #MiddleEast Resorts! – @FantasticPOTUS
America is all about freedom – to be a Christian. And freedom to shit on losers the Bible tells you to hate because they aren’t Jesus groupies like you!
THE PRESIDENT: [Inhales sharply.] OK, wait until you see how serious I deliver this. So serious. And. Very. Very. Presidential. Like, Sean Hannity will be totally creaming in his pinstripe slacks any second now, folks.
Best, most HUGE Inauguration in History! We couldn’t keep the broads away! Even more showed up the second day!
Be SCARED, because at any moment you could be murdered at Carl’s Junior by a one-legged Syrian war orphan!
Now Neiman Marcus is kicking my sexy girl to the curb! I told Bibi the Jews can forget about America’s support!
Believe me, it’s all the healthcare you’ll ever need – or get! Nine out of ten insurance CEOs agree: “Take TRUMP HEALTH® daily and die quietly!”