President’s Blueprint For Israeli Peace

Israel 2-State Solution

OK – 1, 2, 50 state solution? I don’t care. According to Bannon, Jesus is going to destroy that whole ugly dustbowl anyhow. Luckily there’s always room at MY Inn: Trump® #MiddleEast Resorts! – @FantasticPOTUS

Welcome FAREWELL Life-Long Trump Supporter Tony Scaramucci

POTUS welcomes bids fond farewell to carefully vetted, 1000% LOYAL Tony Scaramucci to WHITEHOUSE.ORG. So great to be have briefly been working with a life-long fan! ??? ###  

Executive Order Greenlighting HUGE Oil Pipelines

All whiny injuns will be bulldozed into their precious sacred rivers, just before they get deluged with…

America-Only LGBTQ Stuff

THE PRESIDENT: OK, I got nothing against the homos. If I did, would I have used Liberace as my decorator? He took one look at my Trump Tower condo and said, "Giiiiirl, I'm going to whomp this wasteland up 'til she looks like a Persian prostitute won the lottery!"...

President’s Weekly Vacation Schedule

If it’s Monday, that means POTUS is back from his $3+Million vacation & ready to #MAGA – for a few days anyway…

Introducing Obamacare TRUMPCARE®

Believe me, it’s all the healthcare you’ll ever need – or get! Nine out of ten insurance CEOs agree: “Take TRUMP HEALTH® daily and die quietly!”

An America-Only ENERGY Plan

THE PRESIDENT: On energy, I will stop supporting sissy stuff like wind and solar and rainbows and all that liberal hippy-dippy spiral-dancer earth-lover bullshit, and go back to a future where huge, dick-like smokestacks belch out thick, beautiful GOLDEN clouds of...

Sean Spicer Bravely Combats Scourge of Fake News

Trump® White House totally gets back at FAKE news @NYtimes ? by not letting them in room?when Sean Spicer avoids everyone else's questions! - @FantasticPOTUS ###

Statement On First Lady Smacking Down Loser Blogger

THE PRESIDENT: GREAT NEWS about the BIGLY $ettlement for Melania! So let that be a lesson to any lousy website that can’t afford to pay the KGB to bury any proof that my hotwife allegedly worked the breadlines of Slovenia as a hooker! Believe me folks, nobody knows...

Making Our Military HUGE Again

THE PRESIDENT: Who needs healthcare, education, the arts, or diplomacy, when we can stuff all that money down the gullets of corporate military contractors, like when L'il Donnie makes homemade foie gras with the Mar-a-Lago geese? (That stuff is so classy and...

The 5th of May FREEDOM FIESTA

TACO 'BOUT A nICE PARTY! Calling All Dreamers! Join El Hefe Trump® for fun, Fritos, and foreigners! Friday, May 5, 2017 White House South Lawn FREE to the pigmented public! Leave your ID at home! Fabulous Prizes: All-expenses paid vacations to exotic Tijuana!...