Total opposite of No
They are of Satan and the enemy of America
2. News media coverage of President Trump should be:
Finding new ways to compliment his greatness
Fair, balanced, and totally positive
Starstruck & worshipful
Gentle, like the caress of a truck stop hooker
3. Where do you get your news?
The Bible & voices from God & stuff…
4. How do you know if the news you’re watching is fake?
It’s like inappropriate touching – I know it when I feel it.
It has stuff in it I don’t already know!
It’s been 10 minutes and I haven’t seen Mike Huckabee or Newt Gingrich.
I read our President’s tweets.
5. Is the President a good guy?
He’s gooder than good – he’s great!
Yes, he told me so!
Infallible, like Jesus!
I wish the traitors in the press would die so they’d stop being mean to him.
Just looking at him makes ME feel like a billionaire, y’all!
6. Is the First Amendment even really in the Constitution?
Maybe, for like, patriotic “Make America Great Again” stuff
Ain’t read it – too long! Is there a tweet version?
7. What stories should the media report on?
Vicious takedowns of liberals
8. Finish the following sentence: where there is smoke, there is ________.
A really classy mahogany-paneled cigar lounge
Hot strippers twerking by a fog machine
9. Finish the following sentence: journalists should speak truth to ___________.
Their bosses and QUIT
Their own buttholes
Military tribunal prosecutors
The business end of a shotgun
TRICK QUESTION – They speak only LIES!
10. What should we do with journalists who dare question the President?
Tweet schoolyard taunts at them
Audit their taxes
Deport them to Jew York City
Mandatory reeducation at Trump® University (NO SCHOLARSHIP)
Turn the hose on them
Publicly demonize them until some teabilly inevitably murders one
11. Do you believe that the media purposely tries to divide Republicans against each other in order to help elect Democrats?
Opposite of No
12. Just out of curiosity, how many electoral votes did President Trump win?
13. How unfair is it that the mainstream media is comparing Republicans stopping Obama with Democrats obstructing Trump?
Very. Totally different things. Republicans were obstructing for ME.
Very, very. Like comparing apples and things that aren’t oranges.
Very, very, very! Democrats are pussies who don’t stand up for stuff.
Very, very, very, very! Republicans fuck shit up FOR GOD!
14. How many journalists have been killed, suspiciously, in Russia since Putin came into power?
ALL SELF-INFLICTED. PROVEN FACT.
[Yawn] Get back to me when they are from CNN!
15. Were you aware that a poll was released revealing that a majority of Americans actually supported President Trump?
Must be true if I’m reading it in words!
Any poll that didn’t would be FAKE NEWS!
Yes, we in the Russia very awares of poll and how she was tabulated.
Is it an Internet poll because I totally believe those?!
16. Do you believe that the media wrongly attributes a) gun violence to Second Amendment rights, b) flooding to water, and c) sight to eyeballs?
STEWPID LIBRUL MORANS
17. What source is the liberal media ignoring when they “fact-check” their LIES?
My YouTube channel
That guy with the pamphlets outside Hobby Lobby
18. Who is the greatest enemy of America?
Failing New York Times
Scumbag Washington Post
19. Do you think a democracy needs a free press that questions the powerful to survive?
No. How can they be powerful then?
Yes, but only when Democrats are in power.
Fuck kind of question is this???
20. Do you care when the enemies of America repeatedly produce incontrovertible evidence that POTUS is profiting off a public office?
I do not care
(Puts fingers in ears)
(Claws out eyes)