Mrs. Mike Pence is a woman.

Vice President Mike Pence met the future Mrs. Mike Pence in church. She became the legally wed wife of Mike Pence in 1984. Mrs. Mike Pence successfully gestated Mike Pence’s three children.

Later, Mrs. Mike Pence was briefly the Founder & Inventor of “That’s My Towel!”, a purveyor of tin clip-on baubles which give peace of mind that you aren’t drying your face with the same swatch of musty terrycloth that someone else just used to sponge country club pool water out of their moist hiney crack.

Now post-menopausal, Mrs. Mike Pence is barren, so needn’t bother arranging the showy, public funerals her husband Mike Pence demands after any miscarriage.

 

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