THE PRESIDENT: On ethics reform, as part of my plan to “Drain the Swamp” so we can frack the shit out of it, I will immediately release my tax returns, eliminate all conflicts of interest, and liquidate my foreign holdings. (PAUSE) OK, I’m fucking with you. Again. Because doing shit that supposedly makes candidates “unelectable” is what got me elected. So, I figure, if I just do a whole bunch of shit that makes presidents “impeachable” – we’re looking at 8 years. 16 with an Executive Order. #DTS #LOL

#PolicyByTweet: PLAN 1 Drain the swamp. PLAN 2 Abolish building codes to sell high-rises on soggy mud foundations. PLAN 3 Get all our $$$ out before construction! – @FantasticPOTUS