HOCKING LUGIES IN SOLDIERS' FACES: Decoding John Kerry's America-Hating Liberal Doublespeak

What John Kerry SAID:

"You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t… um… you get stuck in Iraq!”

- John Forbes Kerry, October 30, 2006

What John Kerry MEANT:

“You know, education, if you actually have it, you might be able to differentiate between a vicious insult-hurler and a patrician dork who’s so clutzy, he even trips over punchlines. If you don’t… um… you gullibly react with the phony knee-jerk rage you're being cynically spoonfed by incompetent bureaucrats who laugh while you’re marching to your deaths!”

“You know, stupid, low-class, piss-ignorant soldiers, if you secretly hate their guts like I do, you waste over three decades of your life doing everything in your power to pro-actively prevent their deaths. If you don’t… um… you sneak down to Arlington cemetery after dark and pinch fat steamers on their graves!”

“You know, today’s military, if you join it, 85% of you vote for George Bush, you get programmed to be mindless, order-taking zombies who COULDN’T WAIT to invade Iraq. If you don’t… um… you might be able to tell when you’re being fed propaganda that exploits the fact that while you act mega-macho, most of you really have egos as fragile as zitty high school girls!”