White House Statement on Alex P. Keaton's Flip-Flopping Endorsement of Womb Booger Holocaust

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: President Bush has long appreciated the steadfast support of Alex P. Keaton, television's poster boy of Reagan-era materialism. In light of Mr. Keaton's impeccably conservative credentials, the White House is troubled by his inexplicable recent advocacy for so-called "stem cell research". Intelligence reports indicate that Mr. Keaton's newly erratic behavior is related to drug use – a theory verified by Rush Limbaugh, America's preeminent expert on prescription medication withdrawal spasms. The White House extends its prayers and best wishes to Mr. Keaton's family during his embarrassing descent into flip-flopping liberalism.